The Desperate DoZen

Only twelve desperate days to go before the BIG MOVE. I wish I could say I was in a state of grace and serenity as I glide from my English life to my new French one.  Did I say glide – I mean stagger, lurch and stumble.  The awesome bureaucratic machine that is French administration with its insatiable appetite for papers (preferably bearing the expensive insignia of a notaire or English solicitor) and requests for documents that are currently unobtainable, has already given me a couple of hors d’oeuvres to swallow. I need to open a bank account? I need a utility bill to do this. I can’t have a utility bill until I’m sent one. When will that be? Oh a couple of months and then I must pay by cheque. But I haven’t a bank account. Open one. Need a utility bill. Soooooper.

Still it’ll give me the opportunity to practise for my Zen mastership.

Actually so much is happening at once that I do need that inner calm. My local history book “Close to the Edge” is completed, edited and just awaiting a few permissions for some of the older photos. One of the publishers I approached is making all the right noises but is still havering so I’m looking again at self-publishing, Print on Demand and all that jazz. If anyone who reads this has any experience of using Lightning Source I’d be really pleased to hear from them. The idea of marketing a book from 1000 miles away seems a little daunting but since I’ve got to come back to the UK for day job work every now and again, I’m sure it’s possible.

In the meantime I’m moving on to my next keep-me-in-Blanquette (fizzy wine, local to my new home to those that don’t know) book. I enjoy writing these short quirky history books. My original idea was to develop them alongside fiction that I want to write to help pay the bills. It’s a bit of a cop out in some ways because the non-fiction is easier to write and sell, although not in huge quantities. But I do think that maybe I’m avoiding something here. My track record in fiction writing is limited to a few short stories and a radio play.  Lurking in a drawer I have four half-finished novels where I’ve run out of steam or gotten a bit bored with them. Basically I think I’m a coward and won’t face up to the possibility that I’m a crap fiction writer. My head teems with ideas and I’m pretty good at visualising scenes and situations; dialogue runs well for me too. I often walk on the beach, in character as it were, creating pretty good dialogue (to the amusement of many a dog walker) but the minute I try to write it all down, pouf! The gremlins that live in the dust balls under the bed steal it all away whilst I’m asleep.

So do I take the easy road and conjure up a few more eclectic histories or do I bite the bullet and finish off one of the four unfinished opusses (yes, pedants, I know it’s not the plural of opus)? Perhaps the change of scene will do the trick. There again, perhaps the warm spring airs, the lure of the mountains and the scent of the garrigue will do for me entirely.


A little peep at the new des.res.

4 thoughts on “The Desperate DoZen

  1. Where do I start?

    Firstly, it is ‘opuses’ – I’m sure it sounds right when you say it with two ‘S’s’ though.

    Secondly, you sneaked this one out while I was doing the Tesco shop – very naughty. . .

    Thirdly, French paperwork – rather you than me.

    4thly, I’ve been amassing lots of info. on the self-publishing route, POD, etc. LS seems a good avenue. Should I delve into it I’ll let you know. I would be willing to spill the beans with all my research should you require such pearls.

    5thlee, This beach dialogue. Have you thought of using a dictaphone.

    6thleigh, The new house looks fantastic. I may not envy you the paperwork but I do envy you the exploration of a new life.

    Good Luck.

  2. 1. Ha – I always thought it was ‘opera’ for the plural – I was trying to be funny but clearly the funny bone is broken.
    2. Just changed publication time to check who really reads this stuff. Brownie points to you ET 🙂
    3. I kid you not – it looks horrendous. I nearly fainted when I saw what was needed to transfer health benefits across.
    4. Thank you, The beans would make a welcome, if noisy, addition to the diet.
    5. Yes but got no further than that. Thanks for reminding me.
    6. The offer to visit is always open..

    • I guess so. It’s one of those things that when I coach I tell others not to beat themselves up about – but when it comes to me …well it’s different. Do as I say not as I do 🙂
      Thanks for looking in.

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